Comedy is serious business! There are unwritten rules one needs to follow while attempting a comic caper: Cast names that have a flair for comedy, opt for a script that has light moments aplenty, add a dash of glamour, throw logic out of the window, shake and stir it for the next two hours and voila, a laughathon is ready. Of course, the chef [director] ought to know how to mix-n-match the masalas efficiently.

Of late, the success of films like NO ENTRY, KYAA KOOL HAI HUM, MAINE PYAAR KYUN KIYA, GARAM MASALA and MALAMAAL WEEKLY have triggered off a trend of mindless, nonsensical entertainers that defy logic. TOM DICK AND HARRY follows the same route: Leave your brains at home while watching the film.

But there's always a slip between the cup and lip...

After attempting diverse themes such as male stripping [OOPS!], slasher-horror [KHAMOSHH - KHAUFF KI RAAT] and obsession-murder mystery [FAREB], director Deepak Tijori now steps into an alley he had never ventured into -- comedy. But the problem with TOM DICK AND HARRY is that it rests on a waferthin plot and worse, the writing [screenplay: Kamal Pandey, Yunus Sejawal] is so undeveloped and juvenile that you actually pinch yourself, Is this for real?

Agreed, films like NO ENTRY and GARAM MASALA also threw logic to the winds, but those senseless films also made sense at the end of the day. Most importantly, they entertained. Sadly, TOM DICK AND HARRY takes the audience for granted. Or, perhaps, treats the viewer as a mere spectator with pea-sized brains. The film rests on a carelessly penned screenplay, resulting in complete chaos.

TOM DICK AND HARRY tells the escapades of three physically impaired people: Tom [Dino Morea] -- deaf, Dick [Anuj Sawhney] -- blind and Harry [Jimmy Shergill] -- dumb. They live together as paying guests and their lives takes an endearing turn when Celina [Celina Jaitley] comes to live in the bungalow opposite their house.

Tom, Dick and Harry start making moves to impress Celina, who is least interested in acknowledging their presence. There's Bijlee [Kim Sharma], a machchiwaali, who is completely besotted by Tom and does not leave any stone unturned to express her feelings.

Then there is Suprano [Gulshan Grover], who is out to prove that he is the worst villain ever. He is in the business of kidnapping pretty girls and 'exporting' them to various countries across the globe. Tom, Dick and Harry unknowingly become the target of Suprano, by being the biggest barrier in his business deals.

The general feeling within and outside the industry is that TOM DICK AND HARRY bears a striking similarity to the recent release PYARE MOHAN. But let's clear the misconception at the outset: The storyline of the two films is as diverse as North Pole and South Pole. Of course, the lead characters in both PYARE MOHAN and TOM DICK AND HARRY [borrowed from the Hollywood film SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL] are physically impaired, but the similarities end there. Actually, there's a bit of ALL THE BEST [play] and PADOSAN in this film too.

On the plus side, TOM DICK AND HARRY has a couple of enjoyable scenes, which do tickle your funny bone. The Rakesh Bedi-Kunika-condom track at the start of the film is hilarious. Gulshan Grover's introduction is another sequence which works well. Besides some scenes, what comes to the rescue at times, are the dialogues, which cater to the masses completely.

But there's a flip side as well and it is this flip side that causes more harm than anything else. The screenplay is the biggest villain of TOM DICK AND HARRY. Not only is it too childish, even the escapades of Tom, Dick and Harry hardly excite you. In fact, you lose interest midway through the enterprise because there's no movement in the story.

Director Deepak Tijori plays to the gallery this time. He has his fundas right: Make a hardcore timepass film. But his choice of the story and screenplay is what acts as a major turn-off. The music is the only saving grace and Himesh Reshammiya is on a winning streak yet again. Here's another score that works big time, but the placement of the two fantastic numbers -- 'Jhoom Jhoom' and 'Tanha Jiya Na Jaaye' -- look completely forced. Cinematography [Manoj Soni] is up to the mark. Dialogues gel well with the mood of the film.

Of the cast, Dino Morea tries hard, but in vain. His timing is just not right. Jimmy Shergill doesn't deliver either. And why is he looking pale at most times? Anuj Sawhney is excellent and is the best performer in the crowd. He's a complete natural.

Celina is wasted. Kim Sharma will be loved by the commoners. Gulshan Grover is efficient as the weird don. Shehzad Khan gives an extremely good account of himself. Rakesh Bedi excels. Kunika is first-rate. Avtar Gill, Javed Khan and Shakti Kapoor are mechanical.

On the whole, TOM DICK AND HARRY is too weak a fare to leave any impression whatsoever. At the box-office, the hit music and lewd jokes may appease the front-benchers to an extent. That's it!